vampires are just plain cool.

I am not a girly girl. Never have been. But sometimes i have experiences that remind me clearly of this fact.
I spent the afternoon with some of the girls in my family seeing Eclipse. Let me preface this by saying, i loved the books. I thought they were fun, and different, and incredibly entertaining. I also unsurprisingly loved the movies. Do i find Edward's hair incredibly over quaffed? Yes. Is Bella's incessant moping annoying? Yes. Is Jacob incredibly whiny, and a not so good actor? DEFINITELY yes. But i still enjoy a fun story as much as the next person.
Except......
I loved the movie, i really did. But the swooning, and the giggling, and the whispering by the audience every time someone kissed or took their shirt off made it incredibly difficult for me to not roll my eyes. In fact I'll admit it. I did roll my eyes quite a number of times. But when the long awaited (for me anyway) fight scene took place, i believe i may have been the only person in the room, who when jasper LITERALLY punched someones head off, said out loud "that was AWESOME".
My sisters think I'm quite crazy.
Its not that I'm not a romantic. I am, in a sense. But give me a Colonel Brandon, a Mr. Darcy, or a Captain Wentworth. An Edward Ferrars, a Mr. Knightly, or a Mr. Rochester, any day over a Jacob OR an Edward.
To quote a favorite television character of mine. "you have to admit, vampires are just plain cool." and to throw in my two cents, werewolves aren't bad either.
But for me, well, id rather just see them being werewolves and vampires. Sure throw in a little love story, it always makes for better story telling, but in the end it was the head punching, werewolf tackling, arm ripping off, bouncing off the trees, fight that i found the most entertaining.
That probably says something about me, but hopefully nothing that makes you love me any less. ;)

Jesus!? I know him!

Today Draven, Gracie, Gabree and I made some pictures to send to Drew in Hawaii. Its very interesting to get a child's view of a mission when they have never experienced one before.
I said, "i think we should make some pictures to send to Drew in Hawaii, i bet he would really love that", to which Draven responded, "is Drew going to be in Hawaii forever?"
hmm interesting question, the words "two years" means very little to a 6 year old.
So i said, "well not forever exactly. but a long time, he will back when you are 8". When i said it out loud, i almost wanted to say, WOW, that IS forever....
Gracie wanted to paint her picture, so i got out the paint and she said "what should i paint?"
I suggested maybe some trees or flowers, and then i said, "you should put a missionary on it too"
"What's a missionary?"
"Well, a missionary is a person who goes somewhere far away to teach people about Jesus."
To which she responded (and this was my favorite part by the way) "JESUS?!! I KNOW HIM!" and she said it pretty much like that scene in elf when Buddy is told Santa is coming to town. AWESOME.
Draven decided to draw A: a picture of batman on one side, and B: a picture of Bruce Banner turning into the Hulk on the other side.
And Gabree got more purple crayon on my kitchen counter then on the paper.
So we made our pictures, and it was fun. I cant mail it out yet though, because James has insisted the he is going to color a picture of a panda bear to send, (yeah i don't know either)
I might make it a weekly occurrence, or at least until Drew writes me asking me to stop sending him crayon and paint covered printer paper.
Aloha Elder Carter, we love you!

Meltdown.

So every once in a while i have a meltdown.
I don't know if this is something that happens to everyone or not. But at some point after a few weeks of putting things on a shelf, the shelf collapses and i have a complete meltdown.
it usually consists of a lot of crying, a moderate amount of self loathing, and ends with complete exhaustion.
It can be anything that sets it off. Usually something small that finally breaks the proverbial camel, and the rest of the world comes crumbling with it.
The reason i am bringing this up, is because yesterday i had a doozy. It started with small things, and as the weekend went on it got bigger until i found myself crying uncontrollably. I was angry at myself for some stupid mistakes, angry at some other people for THEIR mistakes, and missing Sheri big time.
Does everyone have these days??? Maybe i don't want to know the answer to that one....
So when it all came falling down, like the London bridge kids sing about, at about midnight last night, i wanted to curl up in a ball and give up.
But i didn't.
And i never do.
And here is the reason.
James. He is my knight in armor, my hero, my conscience, and my voice of reason. He is the one person in my life who can say to me in a calm and rational voice, "Wendi, STOP IT." and i do. Granted sometimes it takes me ten minutes or so, and sometimes the feelings remain. But all of a sudden life feels like it can and will continue.
I have an amazing life. One that makes me ashamed i even have these episodes of complete craziness. I think i need to hang a sign somewhere in my house that i will see everyday. It will say, "today people are going to say rude things to me, or hurt me by not saying something i think they should. There are going to be people in my life today that are going to bring back painful memories, no matter how deep i think i have buried them. Today i am going to forget something important, do something stupid, and miss some one i love who isn't here anymore. But I AM GOING TO DEAL."
You would think by the age of 35 i would have learned to let the Lord take over when i feel like i cant handle things anymore. But I'm still learning.
I would like nothing more than to say that I'm going to do that from now on. No more anger at people who have hurt my husband or family. No more hating myself for not doing things as perfectly as i think i should have, or making the silly mistakes i make everyday.
I would REALLY like to say that....
I love the people in my life, you all make a difference to me in one way or another. I'm grateful for an amazing husband who tries to get me, and when he doesn't, he still keeps trying. I'm grateful for an amazing family, who don't try and manipulate me, and love me for who i am. I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father that loves me. And mostly, I'm thankful for a Savior who doesn't care if i manage to complete all my housework perfectly, that i am constantly forgetting appointments, and that my Jello is a totally weird color.

A house full of people? Bring it on.

I LOVE to have visitors. Its probably one of my very favorite things. For a few months now we have been planning a family get together for the fourth of July for some of our out of town family. I cannot wait. It's a good thing i have a husband to reign me in, because if i didn't, i would have spent a years salary on changing everything in my house, and buying a yard's worth of fun things.
As it stands now, i was allowed one inflatable movie screen, a bedroom redecorating, and a gazebo for the backyard. Its going to be so fun! Now i just have to pray that the weather cooperates.
I cant wait to see everybody, give Kathy a big hug, and have a meaningful conversation with Alexis, her advice is invaluable you know.
I am so grateful for the Mowers. For the way they make me feel like family. I love them all so much, and spending time with them doesn't happen enough.
I have more plans in my head then we will ever be able to put into action. But just sitting and chatting, eating and laughing, will be enough.
So thanks guys, you might think you need to thank me, but trust me you don't. Come to this house whenever you choose, and stay as long as you want. There is nothing in my life i love more then taking care of people i love.
Its going to go by quick, im sure of that. But i plan on enjoying it as much as possible, because when everyone goes home, my house is WAY too quiet. :)

Just this...

So i was outside today pulling the weeds that seem to multiply while i sleep, and was approached by my nephew Draven on his scooter. He simply said to me, "Wendi, come buy somethin" and then rode away....
I was a bit confused until i looked to my sister's house and saw my nieces and nephews had created some kind of lemonade stand. So i got some money and headed over to see what there was to buy.
There was a large jug of lemonade, some little bags of chips, and a cooler which was filled with Popsicles. I was quickly instructed by Dylan that i shouldn't buy the lemonade, cause it "tasted funny" so i proceeded to buy enough Popsicles for us all to have one. I then asked the question, "so what else is going on today" to which Shayna responded, "just this".
There are a lot of things you couldn't pay me enough to relive as an adult, but a good lazy summer day is something i would PAY to relive. The freedom of summer as a child is a feeling you don't really get to recapture as an adult. Sure there are days off, vacations, and the like. But when in your adult life have you experienced an entire day where your plans were "just this", with thoughts of nothing else on your mind, or your to do list. Or a day where you really DO nothing, and don't have guilt. It just doesn't happen anymore.
So go outside, and have a Popsicle with some kids. Its a good reminder of what summer really used to feel like.

Is there a 12 step program for me?

My name is Wendi, and i have an addiction.
Oh who am i kidding, i have A LOT of them. The things in my life, that at a given point, i feel as though i cant live without. They change from time to time, i go through different phases. Some last a few weeks, others i have had for many years, but these are the ones i thought about today to share with you.
1. The first one is a little thing they call Netflix. Words do not express the feeling you get when you see the red logo, whether its in the mailbox, or on the "watch instantly" menu. I LOVE movies and television. I always have. My head is full of all sorts of useless pop culture information, that does me little good, other then coming in handy when somebody says "who was that guy in that movie?". Last Saturday they added a bunch of new things to the instant watch list, and i was so excited, i ran to the bedroom and woke up James to tell him. His excitement level was not as great as mine.
2. Kind of in line with the first one is a television show that i find myself completely addicted to, and no its not even "Lost". Its called "Lie to Me" and its probably the most entertaining thing i have found on netflix so far. In connection with this obsession, comes one for the theme song for the show. Its called "brand new day" by Ryan Star, and it is awesome. Its on my playlist below, give it a listen.
3. Amazon.com.... doesn't just saying it make you happy? Shopping online is one of my greatest addictions, its SO MUCH DANG FUN. Where else can you buy a t-shirt, a dvd, an inflatable movie screen, and 12 books all at the same time.
4. Cake, and not just eating it. I have a cake to decorate for my niece's birthday tomorrow, and decorating cakes makes me happy AND obsessive. I absolutely love when things go right, and something i made turns out amazing.
5. Two words: JUNIOR MINTS.
6. Decorating, if I'm not decorating a room, I'm THINKING about decorating a room. I have moved through pretty much our entire home one room at a time, and have started over more then once on some of the rooms. A lot of people in my life think its crazy that painting a room is something i do for fun and relaxation, and not punishment. My dream would be for someone to give me a white room, and some cash, and let me go to it.
7. Probably my greatest addiction is my husband. There is no one on the planet who is more fun, or more amazing to me. I laugh every day at my house, and there is nothing greater than that. We were watching some crime show the other day and they were of course interviewing the wife after the husbands murder. She stated that she hadn't talked to her husband for three weeks because he was on some fishing trip while she was out of town. James turned to me and said "what would you do if you hadn't talked to me for three weeks" to which i responded, "i would panic if i didn't know where you were for 3 HOURS. after three weeks, I'd be curled up in a corner somewhere mumbling incoherently." Sad, but probably true...
There are many more on my list, but this post is getting frighteningly long. I guess the others will have to wait till another day.
They say admitting addiction is a step to overcoming it. i guess we will see.

What's been going on in my head.

So i havent blogged for a couple of days, its been a busy but fun weekend. Here are just a handful of things that took place, and also a bunch of random things that i have thought about in the last couple days.

I had never even used the internet before i met my husband, and now if i didnt have it i would probably die. Or at least need medication.
Every time i see Megan Fox, i feel like i need to take a shower.
I love british tv, its badly done and poorly acted, and for some reason that makes me love it more.
On saturday i watched yet another version of Jane Eyre. there are certain stories i NEVER tire of hearing.
I have to go to the dentist today, and lie yet again. "why yes Dr. Boyden, of COURSE i floss everyday."
Neil Patrick Harris + Joss Whedon = legendary genius.
Monday holidays are awesome, but make the rest of my week confusing.
When we went to the cemetary to put some flowers on Sheri's grave, the family next to us had brought a weed wacker, a broom, and other things that made us feel like we were cemetary noobs. We apologized to Sheri, and promised next year we would come more prepared.
We watched an episode of the show "Hoarders" yesterday, and now i feel like i need to throw away everything in our house.
My sister, got an "F" on a poem SHE wrote for her son's homework. She got angry and wrote the teacher an email. HILARIOUS.
I get a lot of joy out of watching Tim Roth, and his cockney accent, catch liars.
Apparantly the long weekend was tiring for all of us, as the dogs have been comatose since about 10 minutes after they got up this morning.
I shared my new "exterminate" dalek voice text tone with my neice, and when it went off yesterday it scared my mom.
While mowing the grass in the rain is quite refreshing, when your hair and shirt are soaked, its probably time to admit defeat.
Bust mostly, im grateful to have a husband who even after 12 years still makes me laugh till i cry almost every single day.